It’s never the owner’s knickers, part 1

I start with the proposed title for my memoirs, which may never be written as I do have this blog to share my life stories – but the idea and title are there for when I feel the urge.

Anyway, let’s get back to the knickers…

We all know that after surgery for a foreign body, there is the veterinary tradition of placing the offending item in an autoclave bag, mainly for basic hygiene purposes, but also to present the item like a grotesque prize to the owners. This tradition brings up a few issues for me.

Gift wrapped

I wonder what clients make of the gift wrapping of ingested items?

We know they are autoclave bags, which are made to be quite robust to keep instruments safe and sterile, but to a client who isn’t aware of how we sterilise and care for instruments, these bags must seem like a very posh way to preserve ingested items, what with the handy added bonus of being able to see exactly what has been retrieved from their pets.

…and herein lies the main issue with showing what their pet has eaten during the discharge consultation.

The reveal

The provenance of any item that a pet has eaten is of concern to the owners on several fronts: they have suffered emotional and financial distress because of the ingestion (which in itself is difficult to process; when your pet has gone from being happy and healthy to requiring emergency surgery pretty rapidly), but then there is the issue of how, when, why and often WHO has caused the injury.

I’ve lost count of the amount of clients I have heard say they are convinced a neighbour poisoned their pet – which is rarely the case – so “the reveal” (in game show parlance) of the offending item is often an emotional experience.

It’s never the owners knickers

Then the brutal reality of vet life hits home. As we all know, especially for dogs, that if underwear has been ingested – IT’S NEVER THE OWNER’S KNICKERS… or their partners’, or their childrens’.

The usually skimpy, leopard-print items lie there in their see-through gift wrapping on the consult table, being judged and sending out the message that the knickers had to have come from SOMEWHERE and, more importantly, SOMEONE.

To prevent an increase in divorces happening in the consult room while you try to go over home care needs, it can help to use a paper meds bag for the knickers. No see-through window, cheaper and recyclable at home. Thus, the focus stays on the patient, and any awkward moments on ownership or provenance of the offending items will occur outside of the vet clinic.

As for why dogs insist on eating strangers’ knickers, my next blog explores that mystery…