17 Apr 2024
In the final post of her blog series, Carly Kilby discusses how she overcame impostor syndrome by proving her worth – not just to the practices she locums for, but to herself – and explains how you can, too.
Carly Kilby
Job Title
Image © Supatman / Adobe Stock
As a locum, there’s an element of impostor syndrome as you walk into a new practice. This practice is paying a higher rate for your services, you had better perform and make your rate worth it. You want them to want you back. You want the practice to say: “They’re expensive, but they’re worth it.” Right?
My impostor syndrome has gone beyond that; I put myself through extra certificates and qualifications to try and validate myself and make my hourly rate seem worth it.
However, now I have these extra letters after my name, I need to live up to the expensive standard the practice is expecting: a fountain of knowledge; saviour of the practice for one week only.
Oh, no. The pressure is on. The panic sets in…
The letters after my name were for my own validation. I am proud of the work I put in to achieve them and I’m proud to display them, but please don’t ask me about anything.
What would have been a better option?
What else should I do to come across professional and knowledgeable? Would the same expectations be put upon you if you “look the part”? After all, the client only sees the amount of hair you clipped off and the size of the wound you stitched up, not the amount of time it took to perform the operation, or the blood, sweat and tears that went into anaesthetising the challenging case.
So, does the practice only see your well-presented nursey self and the neat clinical notes you make with your multi-coloured biro? The answer is no…
None of these things validate you. The postnominals and the scrubs are what we want for ourselves. They do not make you a better nurse.
Practices want someone proactive and efficient, punctual and reliable – a team player with a sense of humour. The expensive additional extras you decide to wear should be for your own benefit and not because you want validation from others.
Society is trying to move away from materialism, so we should try and implement these changes to our professional outlook on ourselves. It’s not about stuff and things, postnominals and scrub hats, it’s about skills, personality and vibes.
Prove yourself by providing a positive experience. Don’t be scared to ask questions, and if you notice something that needs doing, just do it. Use your initiative. You’ll be amazed how grateful teams are when they see their tube tie stash topped up, or the inside of the clinical waste bin lid cleaned.
You may be expensive, but the practice will get value for money.
