2 Sept 2020
In her latest COVID diary, Nat Scroggie discusses the wedding day 2020 that wasn't.
Nat Scroggie
Job Title
As the weeks – and now months – of the pandemic stretch by, there are times when life feels broadly normal.
I still get up and go to work, I consult and operate, then go home and eat. I also go for runs and see friends in the garden on nice evenings – and we have even been out for a few meals.
In the parallel universe in my mind – the one where COVID‑19 never happened – not every day is really that different. There are other times when they are worlds apart.
I am writing from my non‑wedding day – 15 August 2020. The day I thought I would wake up full of nerves and excitement, put on the kind of dress I would never normally have the confidence to wear, and walk down the aisle arm‑in‑arm with my dad towards my incredible vicar mum at the front of the church.
Today, I thought I would be marrying my best friend, surrounded by our friends and family.
It is not the party I am sad about; I have never had a party before – and if I am honest, I was nervous about being the centre of attention.
In many ways, it is not even the marriage; the pandemic has focused all our minds on what is important and how much we have to be thankful for. I do not need to be married to feel secure or loved.
For me, a wedding has always been about making some of the toughest promises in your life in front of the people who are there to love and support you through whatever that brings. To celebrate the good times, and be there when it is hard.
And right now, life is throwing us some challenges.
On a day where I expected to feel surrounded by the arms of the people who care for me, I have woken up feeling suddenly aware of how far away they all are – and how much I miss them.
But of all the questions COVID‑19 has brought, the decision to cancel our wedding was an easy one.
We have not forgotten the real meaning behind a wedding or got carried away with wanting an extravagant party. There was just never anything more important than the people who were meant to be there with us. They are the non-negotiable.
I have no doubt a day will come again soon where we can gather in big groups, and hug and dance, and sing and kiss. How much more special that day will be for waiting for it.
But until then, I guess I will just have to hold on to being a Scroggie for a little while longer.
Today I will get up, go for a run, and come home to eat our eggs and bacon brunch. We will walk the dog and Zoom with our families.
We will go out for dinner to celebrate our non-wedding day and maybe share a bottle of champagne.
Most of all, we will wait until that day when we can all be together again – and imagine how amazing that will be.
