Mum’s the word – part six: the career/parenthood compromise

This is a very timely article for me to write; I’ve just waved my youngest child off to school, and that’s got me thinking… what now?

Actually, it’s a thought I had a couple of years ago, when it dawned on me school hours were even less compatible with work than the long days offered by most nurseries. And then there’s the whole school holiday saga.

So how do we, as employed vets, square the circle of childcare? Is it possible to have a job often involving long hours, complex rotas, and still be there for the family as it grows up?

I had thought once my kids were in school my job would be largely “done” – I could thrust them on the education system and crack on with resuming my career.

It was a wake-up call when a learned colleague with older children admitted she wished she’d worked more when the kids were younger, so she could free up more time for them in their teenage years when their need of her emotional support, homework assistance and taxi services increased.

How do we juggle a growing family and still have a rewarding career?

I’ve come across several models while exploring this topic – different ways of tackling the conflicting needs of having kids in school for the middle six hours of the day, with the demands of providing veterinary care 24/7.

Childcare

Thank heaven for breakfast and after-school clubs. But if you live in a commuter area like me, these are often booked up months to years in advance, with extensive waiting lists. So plan ahead, and apply well in advance.

If this isn’t an option, childminders can be called on to bridge the gap between working hours and the school run. However, it also adds another person into the equation who may get sick or go on holiday. And these options eat into the often-stretched finances.

Grandparents may be free, at least some of the time, but another low-cost option is buddying up.

Mums in my area have clubbed together and created a rota for drop-off and pick-up for their kids as a group. It takes communication and organisation, but when it’s done well it works brilliantly. Maybe it is time to revive the aged mantra “it takes a village to raise a child”.

Job share

It may not be possible to make all the school runs, but if you work alternate days, or top and tail each day with a like-minded colleague, you can still achieve good case continuity and standards of care, and be at the school gate at least some of the time.

It helps if you have a good working relationship and comprehensive handovers, whether you’re splitting days of the week between you or working, for instance, 8am to 2pm or 2pm to 8pm respectively. The ultimate example of job share is the vet couple who set up their own practice, had kids, and balanced the childcare and veterinary work pretty much 50:50 (depending on the age and stage of the kids).

Despite being extremely hard work for the first few years, it still enabled them to be flexible, and now they’re in a position to employ more vets and enjoy the fruits of their considerable labour, taking more time out with the family.

Out-of-hours

For some parents it’s possible to fit work around partners with a regular “day job” by working evenings, through the night or at weekends.

It may not be great for family time, but as out of hours tends to pay better and compress full-time hours into fewer days, it can allow some working parents a good balance.

I have found late shifts and weekend work puts the onus on my partner to be the primary caregiver, which is good for all of us as a family. It helps if your partner also shares the mental burden and practical tasks – organising the shopping, cooking, tidying up and getting school bags ready – when it’s his or her turn to take charge. Otherwise we can end up still doing everything, other than tucking them in at night.

Diversifying

This was the option most appealing to me. I enjoy clinical work immensely, but do find the stress mounts up the more shifts I work. I have other interests and skills, so set about reading and writing about areas of interest (for example, well-being and working families).

Following genuine passions, saying “yes” to different opportunities and networking have opened doors and, eventually, alternative revenue streams alongside clinical work. It also enables me to work from home for part of the week.

Plenty of examples and ideas of diversification options are available on the Vets: Stay, Go, Diversify LIVE event website (www.vsgd.co). And on the Facebook group of the same name, it’s easy to connect to people who have blazed a trail and are happy to share ideas and advice.

When thinking about juggling kids and work, open your mind to the possibilities.

School holidays

These can be a logistical nightmare. If anyone has any ideas to add to the following suggestions, please let me know, because I’m in the same boat:

• Holiday clubs are becoming more adventurous, with everything from bushcraft and science to dance and drama weeks. Speak to local parents and join local parenting Facebook groups for recommendations.
• Taking annual leave, staggered with your partner.
• Locum work.
• Working from home (diversifying).
• Friends and family (back to the village raising the children).

Practicalities

When I asked the Vet Mums group for some feedback regarding juggling school-age kids and veterinary work, I got several tips on how to make life easier.

This article wouldn’t be complete without their parenting cheats to make the most of that most precious commodity: time.

• Batch cook, and use shortcuts such as diced onions or frozen vegetables.
• Shop online and menu plan for two weeks.
• Reduce your cleaning standards, or get a cleaner (this was widely recommended and can be revolutionary, even if it’s just once a fortnight).
• Buy non-iron clothes and have five uniform sets – one for each day of the week.
• Do school dinners (especially as they’re free for key stage 1).
• Utilise extracurricular activities at school to buy you a few extra hours.
• Get the important dates in the diary asap, and book the time off – sports days and assemblies seem to come around with alarming regularity.

As one Vet Mums member put it: “It’s impossible to do everything yourself. And things will slide sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up.”

---

In the sixth and final article in this series, Liz explores how parenting affects our careers, and what the increasing trend towards feminisation of the profession means for practices as businesses, and the profession as a whole.